I’m back, and Bob still hates me…

Hello everyone! (all two of you)… How are you? It’s been a while.

Before I continue let’s get some necessary things out of the way.

Firstly…

STAY THE FUCK AT HOME.

… and stay safe. I work in healthcare and believe me, the amount of shit-for-brains activity I see daily would make a lemming farmer blush.

Secondly, I hope you all had a Merry Christmas! I treated the Vital Spark to a festive (but expensive) skin to celebrate! The Yoiul Star Skin. Isn’t it spectacularly disgusting?!

Truth be told, I got a little bored with trolling around on my own enforcing peace and order in wormhole space, however I happened upon some monumentally entertaining videos last month by a gentleman called Vinnegar Douche of the Mother Cluckers and he’s inspired me to return.

Check him out.

Anyway, I’d had one little foray into lowsec back in January but since then very little has happened. I’ve been super busy at work and as you can appreciate stress levels have been high and I’ve wanted more and more to appreciate time with my family. However, now that I’ve been locked in with them for a week, I need to escape! So, here I am. (I do love them really…).

So last week I resubbed and snagged one kill, a juicly little Heron. A few days later I stumbled upon a new player in a Cyclone and shat marbles as another Astero and a legion decloaked as I was about to land (excitement!)… I forlornly sat and watched him valiantly battle for five seconds, then got called back into work and did nothing for a few more days.

So, back to the present (well, yesterday) and time to decide where I wanted to be. I’d returned to Solitude to find it reasonably active and opted to stay for a while and check out a few of the local holes. I’d noticed a Venture zooming around a few systems out and noted the pilot’s name for investigation later, but for now I wanted to get back into a wormhole.

I struck blanks with Arritant, Heluene and Oruse and ended up in Ogaria finding two K162s to hang around in. On jumping into the first one, J222104 I spied a Magnate on scan and being a pessimist I immediately envisaged four sparkly warp core stabilizers and impending embarrassment. I needed to get eyes on the guy and check his lossmails.

No stabs noted, however he was taking a long time between cans which either means bait or distraction. What the hell, in I went…

And the pod…

You’ll notice that I’m still getting that choppy weirdness when looking at corpses. I don’t know why it is, but for once I’d love to get a nice, smooth corpse shot!

Exiting the hole I few up to a safe in Ogaria and decided to afk for a while whilst I got some food and played with the kids. On returning some time later I noted that the aforementioned Venture pilot was in system and it wasn’t long before she alighted on a Phoenix Nebula that I’d pre-scanned.

MrFeri Kelmalu > шакал

Apparently that means ‘Jackal’ in Kyrgyz. I kinda like that.

From then on Solitude went pretty quiet. I checked my clones and a cursory glance revealed sister ships and clones in Sagain and Amarr. Nothing in Derelik? Not sure how that happened but time to rectify it. I cloned to Sagain and started making a run for Sasta but noticed by the time I’d gotten to Mehatoor that a Trig invasion was in place over much of Derelik hisec. I decided therefore to branch out into FW space via Raa and see what I could pick up there.

There were people around but nobody actually ‘playing’, just the usual plex sitters idling away the hours stabbed up to the gills or afk cloakys with rap sheets as long as a contemporary supermarket queue. Not very inspiring.

I jumped around a few systems and started pre-scanning for holes and hackable sites. The latter were in short supply so when I found one in Oyeman I stuck to it like the proverbial to a blanket. It wasn’t long before Big Don Nabali showed up with his clean killboard and shiny white Astero and commenced hacking away at the data cans in a very long winded and suspicious manner.

As a hunter, when people take a long time between cans it really sets your paranoia off. This guy had a clean board, was scanning uncloaked, was taking ages between cans and taking ages to lock them. This normally means he’s stabbed and / or is bait.

… but you know me. In for a penny…

Don didn’t even launch drones, which was a shame because he had a reasonable fit for a new player. I still don’t understand why people fly these beautiful ships when much better and cheaper options are available if you’re just going to sit there and take a beating.

No GF from Don either.

Also, NO SISTERS LAUNCHER. AGAIN.

Time to dock up and stick pins in my Bob action figure.

Fly safe guys, and stay the fuck at home.

o/